Mixed Feelings

I am staying in Buenos Aires this weekend (my last one, because the next two I'll be in Rosario and than home!). I have titled this mixed feelings because the past couple of days have been just that. I dont know why I have been feeling kind of down and just not positive, but it just kind of happened. I think it also could be related to my eating too much dulce de leche. You think that you cant eat too much, but I would disagree. These days have been similar to the days where nothing in your closet fits (or at least you think nothing fits). I dont know if I am going through a missing home, friends, and school thing or what, but I do know I really want the northwest. I'm craving some outdoor hiking or just walking and I'm craving some summer fruit.

I think what is hard is that I dont really get along that great with my host mom. I think I may have blogged before about her, so forgive me if I am repeating. It is not that she is mean or anything at all, on the contrary she is very nice and generous. There is just a connection missing from us, I just find myself not responding very well to her comments or conversation. When she asks what I did last night or my plans for the day, I feel she is telling me that I have to do this or do that and almost dictating me, thus Im back to teenage rebel who hates to be dictated to. Plus, there are those awkward dinner nights that we have silences while eating. Just eating and I look at her, she looks at me and I actually feel the tension in the air. I thought I was never an awkward person, this has been a first. I really feel uncomfortable at the dinner table and just wait till it is over and try to think of stupid general comments of the day to talk about. That could also be a reason I miss home and friends. And I already know once I am back I'll be complaining how I miss Spanish, food, mate and the people from down here. That is life.

Can't wait to see everyone. Lovee. Giulia